Slice of Life

Sunglasses are awesome.  They are the greatest invention of all time!!  What else can competely disguise your face, but at the same time keep you looking super fashionable and super cool?? Not ski masks, I'll tell you that much.

Because I wear regular eye glasses (bla!) I usually am not wearing sunglasses.  I don't even think I own a pair of sunglasses.  Maybe this is why I think they are so cool.  It is the tempting lure of something that I can not have.  Maybe I'll get contacts just so I can wear sunglasses.  But my eyesight is just so bad, that's the problem.  They probably don't even make contacts for people like me.

Having sunglasses allows you to successfully play one of my favorite outdoor activities: people-watching!  People-watching is super fun.  But the trick of the game is that you can not let them (meaning the people that you are staring intensely at) see that you are looking at them (this can prove difficult if the other person also happens to be people watching).

So you can't get caught looking and this just may be impossibe...then bam! That's where those handy-dandy sunglasses come in. The only thing that's bad is if the other person also happens to be wearing sunglasses (hmmm they just might be people watching too!)

Sunglasses are cool.  But not the douchey ones.  The ones with the rhinestones and the brand names that cost like $400 and the pink tint blah!  No.  Those are douchey.  The only good ones are all black and preferably cover half of your entire face.  The bigger, the better.

See?  This kid has the right idea.

What other article of clothing/accessory can you put on that makes you look automatically cool?  Seriously.  A guy wearing sunglasses looks tough.  No one is gonna mess with you if you are wearing sunglasses (unless they are the douchey kind we just discussed, then you will most probably get mugged).  And if you put on an old-school black suit with the black sunglasses, forget about it!  You are officially one BAMF.

Point proven.

Sunglasses that play MP3's???  OMG These are the awesomest!!

Do's AND Do Not's  (the etiquette of wearing sunglasses)

DO NOT wear your sunglasses above your head resting on your head, or on a baseball cap (that's just douchey)

DO wear your sunglasses all day, every day. 
DO NOT wear your sunglasses indoors,  put them on your shirt.

When peoople can't see your face=RESPECT

wearing sunglass on a cap, uncool.  Sunglasses on shirt, cool.

EXCEPTIONS (when sunglasses are no longer cool)

Don't.  Please Don't.

Disposable Sunglasses.  I have no idea.

No Transitions. 
With those you either have a really ugly pair of normal glasses when you are inside or a pair of ridiculous looking sunglasses when you are outside. 

Even the sunglasses can't save you, sorry bro.

Now I needs to go buy some sunglasses, ones that I can wear over my real glasses. 

Ciao,

suzanna

A while ago I made a list called My Favorite People but it only had 3 entries.  I figured that I'd better finish it so here goes...

 3 of the entries are repeated from the aforementioned post. (Yay! I used a fancy pants-y word! Darn. Just negated it)

 *In case you don't know me at all, these are multiple instances of SARCASM.

10. Thank you, person on the street who asks me for the time.  Of course you are the only person on the planet who doesn't have a cell phone or watch. So go right ahead.  Stop me when I'm running full speed down the street because I am late for work again.  And while you’re at it, why don't you go on ahead and start a ten-minute conversation with me about your kids and the weather.  Of course we can chat!  I am clearly in no hurry.  And after I walk away, feel free to yell and scream at me to catch my attention because after all of that babble you've forgotten the time I told you itwas.  And for goodness sakes, do not ever look up at the GIANT CLOCK TOWER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.  Of course my boss won't mind if I'm an hour late.  Thanks so much.

9.Thank you, person who ends every sentence like a question.  Because I would love to have this conversation a million times over. 

YOU: Sandra Bullock is a Libra?

ME: yeah, I think so.

YOU: I know.  That wasn't a question.

ME: *punches YOU in the face*

I’m sorry, Mr. Know-it-all.  Why would I dare answer that, which was so clearly just a statement, a declaration of your awesome knowledge? Thank you.  Thank you for identifying the error of my ways. 

8. Thank you, person on the bus who listens to their mp3 at FULL VOLUME. I think I speak for everyone on the bus when I say that we really enjoy listening to your music.  Which is blasting so loud that I can hear every word that Eminemis rapping.  Don't you worry about me.  In fact, go right ahead and sing along!  Better yet, next time, why don't you forget about that mp3 player and go ahead and bring a boom box onto the bus.  Because I don't think the people in the cars next to us can fully appreciate your fantastic taste in music.  Really.  Thanks.

 7.  Thank you, person who drives bymy house at 3 IN THE MORNING, blasting music.  You know what?  I've always enjoyed waking up at 3 am.  Actually, that's what time I should be getting up, because I am just SO BUSY these days.  In fact, you are truly amazing because now I don't have to go and buy an alarm clock.  You are truly a blessing.  But wait, don't just drive by my house, then it would only be a few seconds and I might not wake up!  And we can't have that, can we?  By all means you have to stop in front of my house, get out of the car with the music still blasting, and then talk and laugh loudly with your friends.  Perfect.  Don't forget to leave all of your garbage on my front lawn.  Nice.  Now I have a task, one that should really keep me motivated.  Ok, you can get back in your car and drive away, now that I'm fully awake. Good job, and thank you.  So frickin' much.

 6.Thank you, person that happens to be walking down the street when I am walking the opposite way towards them down the street and makes it really really awkward.  Thank you, because you make my life worth living.  It's really cool because we are both walking, you see me and I see you, and we are getting closer.  Soon we are going to cross each other, and what are you going to do? You can just nod your head or look down the entire time, but you wouldn't do that would you?  Nah, what would be awesome is if you started with the smile, then moved on to the "Hi, how are you?"  Thank you, because now I can't just walk by you can I?  Nope.  You are forcing me to STOP and converse with you.  Perfect.  My people skills do need a bit of work, and,Wallah!  Here you are.  Thank you.  You make me a better person.

 5.Thank you, person who is either full on deaf or just has a wad of earwax in his ears because he cannot hear a thing that I am saying to him.  Thank you because I look forward to having this conversation a million and five times over.

 Me: Iheard that Brittany is going skiing tomorrow, sounds fun, huh?

You: huh?

Me: I said, I heard Brittany is skiing tomorrow, that sounds fun!

You: what? I can't hear you!

Me: I HEARD that BRITTANY is going SKIING TOMMOROW!!

You: you learned that Tiffany's earrings’ were swallowed?

Me: NO, BRITTANY'S SKIING TOMORROW!

You:YOUR REALLY GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Me: oh just forget it. 

You: WHAT???

(This will go on for hours at a time)

 It's really great that as we descend into deeper and deeper levels of miscommunication, you start screaming your answers back at me.  Just in case I can't hear you acting like a complete moron.  Just in case I can't hear, which in turn is somehow affecting your sense of hearing.  So thank you.  Because who doesn't enjoy screaming their lungs out and feeling frustrated at least once a day?

 I just wanted to stop and say something.  A lot of these are about people on the street, or people playing music or people on the bus, and yes these people annoy the living hell out of me.  And I know you’re probably thinking, wow, she really hates people.  And I just wanted to reassure you,there are a lot more where these people came from.  TRUST ME.

 4. Thanks, person who is walking down a hallway or empty street across from me and moves to the left at the same time that I move to the right.  And then does it again.  And again.  And again.  Thank you, for trying to move to the side to let me go by.  That was so nice of you.  Because if you hadn't moved, well obviously I would have just walked right into you.  Because you and your plaid button down shirt are in fact the centerof the universe.  For anyone to get by you, you would have to grant themapproval!  Of course, after the first couple of times, I would then stopand let you move to the side and I would keep going, but you'd rather have a quick chat about how nice we both are, and how funny that was.  Thank you.  Because no day is complete without one really awkward moment.

 3.Thank you, people who find the need to argue with everything I have tosay.  It’s obvious that you are the rock in this relationship.  Every statement by me has got to be followed with a rebuttal by you.  And even when your on my side, it's always better to disagree, isn't it?  You say you are just joking around, and I totally believe you.  Really.  Thanks.

 2.Thank you, person who takes out their phone to text or check email in the middle of our conversation.  Excuseme for trying to carry on a conversation! I should have realized that what I’m saying doesn’t matter.  The only thing that matters is instant messaging Billygoat852 back to tell him that last night’s party was“AWESOME!!!”  How did you know that it joys me to stand around aimlessly while you hit buttons on your phone for 10 minutes straight?  Don’t worry about making comments out loud or laughing to yourself.  I definitely wont walk away.  And for the few seconds you aren’t texting and I’m actually achieving speech, feel free to stare off into the distance and wonder if youare going to receive that email soon. How could I forget?  You arethe most important person in the world! Thanks very muchly.

 1.Thank you, people who are total creeps.  Where would my life be without you guys?  And the best part is, you are everywhere!  How great is it that no matter where I am at the moment, I will always know that one of you is lurking around?  Now I can be prepared to have engaging conversations where you ask way too many personal questions and stare creepily for way too long.  Thanks.  No really. THANK YOU.

 Honorable Mention

 People that see me coming but don't hold the door open,

People that talk really loudly on cell phone blue tooths,

People.

If you've ever watched "Late Night W/ Jimmy Fallon, then you will appreciate the list I am making today.  If you haven't, here's what I'm talking about.  Every Friday, Jimmy Fallon makes thank you notes to the sound of beautiful accompanying piano music.  You won't be able to hear the music, but I have constructed some thank you notes of my own. 

 *in case you read this and are confused, these are sarcastic. 

10.  Thank you, person on the street who asks me for the time.  Of course you are the only person on the planet who doesn't have a cell phone or watch.  So go right ahead.  Stop me when I'm running full speed down the street because I am late for work again.  And while your at it, why don't you go on ahead and start a ten minute conversation with me about your kids and the weather.  Of course we can chat!  I am clearly in no hurry.  And after I walk away, feel free to yell and scream at me to catch my attention because after all of that babble you've forgotten the time I told you it was.  And for goodness sakes, do not ever  look up at the GIANT CLOCK TOWER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.  Of course my boss won't mind if I'm an hour late.  Thanks so much.

 9. Thank you, person who ends ever sentence like a question.  Because I would love to have this conversation a million times over. 

 YOU: Sandra Bullock is a libra?

ME: yeah, I think so.

YOU: I know.  That wasn't a question.

ME: *punches YOU in the face*

 I'm sorry, Mr. Know-it-all.  Why would I dare annswer that, which was so clearly just a statement, a declaration of your awesome knowlege.  Thank you.  Thank you for identifying the error of my ways. 

 8.  Thank you, person on the bus who listens to their mp3 at FULL VOLUME.  I think I speak for everyone on the bus when I say that we really enjoy listening to your music.  Which is blasting so loud that I can hear every word that Eminem is rapping.  Don't you worry about me.  In fact, go right ahead and sing along!  Better yet, next time, why don't you forget about that mp3 player and go ahead and bring a boombox onto the bus.  Becasue I don't think the people in the cars next to us can fully appreciate your fantastic taste in music.  Really.  Thanks.

*I will continue this list....eventually.

OK, we all know them.  There are some sayings, expressions, common phrases, or whatever you want to call them that just get on my nerves.  Or sometimes that just don't make sense.  Which also gets on my nerves.

But seriously, here are some of the sayings that I don't ever want to hear from another human being again.

10. Well, I'm afraid I'll have to answer that question with another question.

 You know that the person who is saying this is thinking, "Man, I am soooo cool.  And witty.  Everyone loves me!"  Well  I don't love you, hypothetical stranger.  To hear that is just darn frustrating.  I don't even know why.  I guess it would be that I don't want to spend all day interrogating you, just give me a straight answer already!!

 9.  I hate (insert random noun here) with a passion!

 You already know that I hate this expression.  Even though I have been caught using it several times.  What can I say.  I can still hate something and use it can't I?  Or would that be hypocritical?  Well I don't care anyway  . 

 8.  Let's not beat around the bush

 I have to say, that I'm not a fan of this, mostly because I am the person that would be most typically beating around this proverbial bush.  So I guess I don't like it because I've heard it many a time before.

 7.  The cat's out of the bag!

 Really? Does anyone even say this anymore?  Probably not.  But I still don't like it.  Maybe it's because I take things too literally.  I used to have a cat.  I wouldn't want it ever in a bag.  Especially a plastic bag where it could suffocate!  And if you think of it literally, it doesn't make sense.  The phrase is suggesting that you want the cat to stay in the bag.  But surely no one would wish that the cat should stay in the bag.  That's just mean.

 6. That's a No Brainer

 As if anyone says this anymore, except in cheesy sit-coms.  Well, I still don't like it.  So there.

 5. I could care less

 Do you realize that this saying makes absolutely no sense!  If you say this meaning, "I do not care for whatever ridiculous thing you're doing or saying right now", then the expression should be, "I couldn't care less".  Think about it.

 4.  There's more than one way to skin this cat.

 What is it with the abuse of cats!  Whoever came up with this is a sicko. Why would you want to be skinning a cat in the first place, let alone trying to find more than one way to do it?

 3.  Every cloud has a silver lining.

 Hey.  I'm probably the most optimistic person out there.  But when I'm feeling down, I really don't need you to tell me this.  Clouds don't have silver linings, and even if they did, when you think about it, silver is just a really shiny gray.  And what do gray clouds do?  They rain all over you, that's what.

 2.  I have half a mind to (insert threatening action here)

 This expression just doesn't make sense.  Anyone who uses it has a half a mind. Why? I don't know.  I just don't like it, okay?

 1.  You've made your bed, now lie in it.

 I get what this means, I even agree with it.  You have made a horrible decision.  Now you must deal with the consequences.  Even the phrase made sense in the old days when people used to make their own beds.  If they used low quality material (like rocks, for example) then they would have to deal with their poorly constructed bed and back pains for the rest of the year.  But it's the 21st century (I think) and we no longer literally create our beds.  We make our beds if you mean putting the blankets back in their proper spot.  But that definition doesn't really work with this saying.  If I made my bed, I would be pretty happy to lay in it.  I think we should change the expression to "You've lain inyour bed, and slobbered all over the pillow, now make it!".

 Now you know what really ticks me off about certain expressions, and you can tread through your day-to-day dialogue making sure that your tongue doesn't slip and say one of these cursed expressions.  Because if it does, I'll be there.  Waiting.

Just An introductory note:

Hi, how are you doing today? Good? Okay.  Now let's talk about me.

 So, in order to both give you more to look forward to when you come to my site, and take out all of my agressions on you, I have decided to take a leaf out of my friend notetaker's book.  Instead of writing one, super duper long rambly bambly blog about once a month, I am going to try to write a shorter less tedious blog very frequently.  I can't promise any specific time frames but every couple of days sounds doable.  And if I don't post a blog entry in a really long time, feel free to harass me until I do.  I think it'll help.  Seriously.
 

All right, all right,  on to the main point:

 I'm mad.  I think you can guess why.  The Sing-Off!  Those guys from Nota won the competition, not my beloved Bubs!  I was really upset.  I was.  Mostly I was a little surprised that Nota won because the audience woted them in.  I was almost positive that the audience would vote in the younger, MORE TALENTED group.  But that's just my opinion, I guess.  And I guess a lot of young'uns like me weren't watching or aren't interested in a cappella groups like I am.  Yeah, I can pretty much conclude that it's only because of my total lack of a social life that I was even home to see the show yesterday night from 8 to 10 o'clock.  2 hours, one show.  And they already had the winner picked out!!!! 

I know.  Lame.

I got an interesting email yesterday.  I mean, I didn't receive it yesterday, but it really affected me.  As you will notice the name of this blog is A Slice of Life.  So when I was looking for a site to host this, the name Slice of Life was taken by someone else.  But when I visited their page, it was empty and I could only think of the things that I wanted to be doing with it.  So I made a comment to the person responsible, and yes, I am ashamed to admit, it was not the nicest thing to say in the world.  I believe the word pathetic might have made an appearance, I?m not certain.

The email that I recieved yesterday was from the person who's title I had coveted! She admitted that yes the account was pathetic, and yes, she would have gladly handed it over, but because of how rude I had been, she was not going to give me the account. 

As you can imagine- or maybe you can?t- I felt horrible. More than horrible. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and regretful that I had left such a rude comment.  I began to think about the reasons why I had decided to do something that was so not like me.  Because really, I don?t write hate mail, or subscribe to the whole cyber bullying issue.  But for the first time, I could actually see what effects I had on another human being, someone who I didn?t even expect to read the comment, let alone actually answer it. 

So that led me to my next revelation.  Why do people go online? We do it to interact with others without speaking or physically being close to them. Yes, I think that was the whole idea behind the invention of the internet, a series of computers that are all connected.  Ok.  People go online to communicate, to find answers, and to entertain themselves.  But what motivates anyone to say mean and nasty things - usually about the most obscure of topics-  use curse words and basically berate everything and everyone in sight?

I think that that is the problem with the anonymity of the internet.  I think that is the reason that I made my particularly insensitive comment.  People are much more likely to say mean things if no one knows who said them.  Maybe people who would never say things like that in a million years want to break out and do something they wouldn't normally do; it would almost be like stepping outside themselves for a while, like putting on an alternate identity.  Under the mask of the World Wide Web, people will do things that are unimaginable.  When I sat there and wrote the comment, sure it said name and email address, but who in their right mind would commit a bloody murder and then knowingly leave their fingerprints behind? 

It basically comes down to this.  What did I do in response to this person who clearly wasn?t happy with the words I had said? I wrote them a letter of apology and I thanked them for standing up to me ? dare I say it ? the cyber bully.  I thanked her for sending me this email, and standing up to me, because I realized that this is something everyone should do if they get a chance.  People who use sites like facebook and myspace to be cruel to others should be punished.  So stand up, and don't let those people get away with it.

I read an interesting article the other day.  If you want to read it here is the link:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200807/google

Anyway, what it was basically saying was that using Google is bad because it is making us less likely to read articles and actually look for information when we can just use a search engine and get the answers very quickly.  The author mentions that writers such as himself have less of a capability to sit and read anything longer than a paragraph when searching for information (Reading up to a paragraph would be a miracle for people today in my opinion).

Now the first thing that came to my mind was the thought that apparently, Google is not affecting my brain because I am sitting here reading this 7 page article.  I just want to mention that I use Google, umm... just about EVERY time I am on the computer.  It's my homepage!  I visited Google five minutes ago to find the article!  And I am probably using Google as you read this right now.  But I still read articles and blogs and other things just for the fun of it, so it does not affect everyone.

For anyone who has mustered up the brainpower to continue reading this entry, don't get me wrong.  Google is evil, make no mistake about it.  But that doesn't mean that I won't take advantage of it's charm.  Not to discredit the guy who wrote the article, he made some really good points regarding the perils of the internet, but are you seriously trying to tell me that you would rather live in a world without search engines? I doubt it.