Slice of Life

These are 4 fool-proof ways NOT to get caught cheating on that exam!  Study and learn.

*For purposes of this post, I will refer to a fictional teacher named Mr. Tingle.

1.  The Ol' "I'm Just Really Poor" Tactic

Write the answers on your arm in erasable pen before the test.  (or you can use some other ink as long as you can quickly wipe it off).  The ink should be black, or if you could somehow get brown, that would be the ultimate!  Then, obviously, when the test begins you start cheating.  If you don't get caught, then this was even easier than I thought.  And your Mr. Tingle is even stupider than I thought.  If you do get caught, meaning the teacher sees you acting suspiciously and glancing down at your arms, and the he asks to look at your hand/arm, quickly wipe away the ink and show her the brown/black stain.
Can't Get in Trouble for Being Dirty Can You? 

And if he does push it farther, saying he saw you cheating and he can prove it because your arm is dirty - SUE HIM for being predjudiced against poor peoples.

2.  The Ol' "I'm Allergic to Light" Trick (for guys)

Before the test, write all of the answers on the inside bill of your cap.  When you get to class Mr. Tingle will probably ask you to remove it, for fear of you cheating and all.  If he doesn't then, cheat away!  But if he does, claim that you have a mild case of drug-induced photosensitivity from this new drug you are taking. Make sure to tell him that if you were to remove the cap for only a moment, a series of hideous blisters and boils would errupt all over your skin.  If he accepts that and lets you keep the hat on, then congratulations, continue on with your cheatfest!  If he insists that you remove the hat, say sure, but tell him that he needs to dim the lights.  Now you can more easily cheat off of the answers written on your arms, or even a class mate's paper.
Remember:  Darkness = Freedom to Cheat All You Want
If Mr. Tingle refuses to dim the lights, and tries to make you take off your hat anyway - SUE HIM for putting your life (or at least your flawless skin) in danger.

3. The Ol' "You're a Dirty Perv" Routine (for girls)

Wear a short skirt to school.  Make sure you write the answers on your inner thigh, high enough that no one can see the marks except you.  Then go on to the test, lift up your skirt a little, and have yourself a regular cheat-a-thon!  if your teacher catches you and accuses you of cheating by writing the answers on your leg, just deny it.  He Can't Very Well Look Up Your Skirt Now Can He?  If he leaves it be and let's you go back to your test, then woo-hoo!  If he demands that you lift up your skirt so he can see your thigh - SUE HIM for sexual harrassment, and minor emotional trauma.

4. The Ol' "Family Emergency" Excuse

Put all of the answers in a text message to yourself on your cell phone.  In the middle of the test pull it out and start cheating.  If your teacher catches you looking at your phone, immediatly jump up and yell, "I just got a text from my dad!  My mom was just in a car accident!  I need to go!"  Even if Mr. Tingle does not let you leave, chances are with your loud interruption, he'll have forgotten all about the fact that he thought you were cheating a couple of seconds ago.  Way to go!  Key to Successful Cheating = Put Someone's Life in Danger  If he does let you leave, you have just scored an infinite amount of time to look over your answers before you return to the room to say that it was all a practical joke, and you really want to kill your father.  If he doesn't let you out of the room, and calls you on your bluff - SUE HIM for... for.... negligence!

-IF ALL ELSE FAILS-

If none of these fool-proof methods work for you, then try my absolutly guarenteed way to pass any test ever: Develop a photographic memory.  It's like bringing your entire textbook to the exam!!  Then You're Not Even Cheating, Really.

This has been 4 fool-proof ways NOT to get caught cheating on that exam.  These were intended for satirical purposes only, do not attempt.  I repeat: DO NOT ATTEMPT, YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE EXPELLED.