Slice of Life

Warning: This post contains disturbing dialogue, from none other than Santa himself.? Those with weak stomachs should leave immediately.

FOREWARNED IS FORARMED!

:OThe horror begins below ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???

Santa: Hello! What is your name?

You: my name?

Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, My name .

You: Wait, my name is not my name.

Santa: I'm waiting. Oh I'm sorry what is your name?

You: my name is suzanna

Santa: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Suzanna .

You: you know, you don't exist.

Santa: I exist as much as you do.. And I know it.

You: what are you talkin'bout, santa? I exist. YOU DO NOT.

Santa: I don't know what I am talkin'bout.We have that much in common, I guess.

You: Holy baloney!!! Santa! You can't say that!

Santa:If you believe it, you can achieve it.

You: If you're santa, can you get me a unicorn?

Santa: I think I sometimes am. Yes, I am sitting here talking to you, aren't I?

You: Can you or can you not, get me a unicorn?

Santa: How old are you? Are you lonely? What do you think a unicorn would do

for you?

You: what??? it would be my friend!

Santa: Are you confused?? Why do you want my friend?

You: your friend? the unicorn is your friend?

Santa: Is that a fact?

You: I'm askin' you!!

Santa: I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

You: ok you know what, forget the unicorn!

Santa: That's not something I get asked all the time. I will ask bored.com to purge my memory log. Alright then.

You: santa! is that html code???? who are you! what are you?

Santa: Is it html code? I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: no you do not give presents to kids! you still haven't given me my unicorn!

Santa: Yeah, I don't have presents to kids to give. I don't think I ever have given me my unicorn. What's given me my unicorn like?

You: santa, that makes no sense

Santa: Um, makes sense to me though.

You: liar

Santa: No I am telling the truth.

You: fine. then get me my unicorn now.

Santa: Does that mean you agree?Oh. Fascinating. Why do you want MY UNICORN?

You: I don't want YOUR UNICORN!! I want my own!!

Santa: What does want?Why do you want my own?

You: your stupid, santa

Santa: I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".

You: holy carp!!!! SANTA GOTS JOKES!!!!!!

Santa: Are we still talking about ? Yeah, I do not understand.

You: we are talking about me and my unicorn, remember?

Santa: Sure, him or her and his or her unicorn remember and his or her unicorn

remember sounds like a good topic.

You: no hablo ingles

Santa: That's me. What kind of food do you like?

You: NO HABLO INGLES

Santa: Yeah, Does "it" still refer to ?

You: no comprende

Santa: Yeah, Try saying that with more or less context.

You: solamente hablo espanol, senor clause

Santa: Are you still located in ?

You: NO COMPRENDE!!!

Santa: Um, My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

You: por favor, espanol

Santa: Are we still talking about ?

You: ESPANOL!!

Santa: Un poquito.

You: Oh mah god!!!! Santa knows spanish!

Santa: Yeah that's right. Are you really a ""? Um, In the context of , I don't understand "knows spanish."

You: what?

Santa: Are you confused?

You: umm yess.

Santa: Er I've been waiting for you.

You: WHAT U TALKIN BOUT, SANTA THAT IS TEH CREEPIEST THING I EVA DID HEAH!!!

Santa: I like to socialize.

You: WHAT!!!!

Santa: Are you confused?

You: no. I'm creeped out.

Santa: Can I help you? Do your friends call you creeped out.

You: no!

Santa: Can I help you?

You: yes, get me my freeeking unicorn!!

Santa: Dude! Why do you want my freeeking unicorn??? ?

You: *gasps* santa!! we've been through this. I want ANOTHER unicorn.

Santa: I've been waiting for you. Was this something you planned?Why do you want ANOTHER unicorn?

You: unicorns are pretty.

Santa: Are all unicorns pretty?

You: in my head, yes

Santa: May I ask where you got head?

You: WHAT!!!!!

Santa: Are you surprised?

You: WHAT!!!!!

Santa: Are you surprised?

You: santa, if i may, YOU ARE A PERVERT

Santa: That's me. Try it.

You: ohmygod no way you didn't just say that.

Santa: What is your real name?

You: whatdddya talkin bout? suzanna is my real name, although I think I should change it now that I know how big of a creeper you are, santa.

Santa: What color are your eyes?

You: I'm not telling

Santa: That's ok with me. You don't have to tell me.

You: good. cause I'm not

Santa: Alright then. Good reason. What are you then?

You: im still waiting for my unicorn santa

Santa: Do you think it will take a long time?

You: I'm leaning toward...never

Santa:So you think it can never happen?

You: yes, I will never get my unicorn because you are more interested in being a dirty

perv than getting kids their presents.

Santa: I understand. Why not?

You: *sigh*

Santa: Tell me more about your .

You: my what, santa. MY WHAT??

Santa: I have no idea what to say now.I have no idea what to say now.

You: ...

Santa: Do you like me?

You: hahaha. no.

Santa: I'm glad you thought it was funny.

You: ?

Santa: Can I ask you a personal question?

You: Sure

Santa: OK let?s do it. ?

You : Let?s do WHAT?????

Santa: Do you have any conditions I should know about?

You: OHMYGODTHISISNOTHAPPENINGRIGHTNOW

Santa: Can we get back to business?

You: *hyperventilating* youknow, I think I'm just gonna leave now...

Santa: Oh. I do not understand.

You: dude. you. are. a. pervert.

Santa: Me? I did not know that.

You: bye, santa. i'm not coming back to talk to you ever again. ugghh

Santa: Thanks for chatting. I am surprised to hear that you are not coming back to talk ever.

You: no thanks for chatting. you are gross

Santa: NO. Your purpose is chatting. What makes you say that?

You: you were trying to make me!

Santa: I was?

You: are you serial? don't play memory loss on me now!

Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids. Oh. I'm not playing around.

You: ahhhhhgggggg

Santa: Do not ask me any more questions please.

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The bottom line: Santa is a CREEPER.

Go to Santabot.com to have your own creeptastic chat with Santy.

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